AOL, OCD, and Diets

Doesn't this place look relaxing? I found the picture online and thought I'd fix it up for my journal entry. My first attempt at doing a frame and mat. It turned out so nice I want to jump into the picture and disappear.

What has been going on with AOL?? I tried 4 times to do an entry last night. Finally I just gave up on it. I kept getting a message saying AOL journals wasn’t available. Then I made it back to the blog front page… and my journal wasn’t showing up, yet I was logged in. That scared me! I thought it was gone. I figured since I couldn’t blog I’d reset my alerts. AOL wasn’t having that either. So I went to bed.

Today has started off crappy. I woke up with a headache. My chiro appointment got rescheduled. My heel and hip are killing me again. I’m back to hobbling around and wincing in pain with every damn step. And there’s a ton of laundry to do, the kitchen needs mopped, and the bathrooms are still a mess. My windows need a good cleaning too, especially the storm door. And guess what? I don’t give a shit.

One thing I have discovered in the last 7-8 months is that I have found a cure for OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Yep, I truly have. The way to cure OCD…. is to get plantar fasciitis. The only thing is I have yet to figure out how to round up all the OCD folks and give them plantar fasciitis. But I’m working on it! I used to suffer from OCD so bad I could tell if a photo or a knick-knack was moved a fraction of an inch. I could never go to bed with even a spoon in the sink. I had to wash it, then wash the sink again, then disinfect the sink, wash my hands again, then wash the sink, disinfect the sink, wash my hands, then the sink. LOL No I’m kidding on the last two parts. Or three. But seriously you could eat off of my floors not too long ago. Now I would not advise you to eat off of my plates!

Anywho… a couple of you asked about my mom’s weight loss. Last year she started doing that Physician’s Weight Loss thing. She’s lost about 75 pounds in a year. She still has about 50-60 to go. I’m proud of her! She’s stuck with it, and even when she screws up she doesn't get discouraged. Her blood pressure is much better. Her knees are much better. And she looks much better, much healthier.

She’s always been heavy, as long as I can remember. And she’s probably been on every diet at least once, some of them twice. She’s gone to gyms. She’s exercised at home. Nothing ever worked. Well, South Beach was working for her a few years ago, but she gave up. I think she lost her willpower. Then she ended up putting on more weight. She developed arthritis in her knees, her blood pressure was really high, and all she wanted to do was sit in her chair and watch TV. Now she watches what she eats, drinks their protein supplements, and has made changes in the food items she buys. And instead of sitting in her chair she sits on her recumbent bike and puts in miles a day on it.

So I’m proud of her. I wish I could lose some of this weight I’m dragging around though. I was doing pretty good and then this fasciitis happened. I was doing South Beach again because it’s how I lost the weight before so I know it works. And I love my gazelle! But I got to the point that I couldn’t take my walks anymore or use the gazelle because it was too painful. So of course I gave up on the diet too. I started drinking soda again and that’s got to stop.

I need to get cracking again at least on the diet part. I don’t think I could walk to the park and do my laps around it again just yet. But I think I can start using the gazelle again pretty soon. I bet if I got some of this weight off me, it wouldn’t put so much pressure on my heels. I’m not obese but I need to lose about 50-60 pounds. Or maybe that is obese? I don’t know. I feel like a beached whale though. I don’t wear red shirts anymore because I’m afraid I’ll look like a barn door. Or a fire engine. Just put a siren in my ass and hook up a hose LOL.

Ok enough about my fat ass. Let’s talk about fatheads instead. No, not husbands... politicians. I have absolutely no clue who the hell I’m going to vote for in this election. Is that nuts or what? Ugh, I am just so clueless. Maybe I won’t vote at all. Maybe I’ll just take a stance and vow not to have anything to do with putting either one of the candidates in the white house. I need to do some reading, and see if I can watch the debates again on YouTube or something. It will be time to cast the ballots before we know it. And I am not prepared.

I could do a whole other entry on this. In fact, maybe I will. Some may not want to read it, so I don’t want to “pollute” this entry with political do-do. So with that I’m ending this entry.

Have a great day!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_1

A real entry

What a long weekend. I haven’t posted and entry since Friday. Even that one wasn’t a real entry. There’s just so much going on here right now. I’ve been in a funky mood again lately. I should probably make an appointment to talk to my therapist again. But who the hell has time?! I started this journal thinking it would be good therapy, but then I don’t keep up with it. I need to start making an entry every day and use this journal as a way to vent when I need to.

So what’s been going on here? Let’s see…  On Friday my mom asked me to go with her to take my parents cat to the vet. He’s had a bunch of little things going on here and there over the years, particularly the last 3 years or so. He’s been vomiting yellow foam recently and not eating or drinking. This has been going on for a little while, not too long, but long enough. He just recently got out of the hospital after an illness and almost didn’t make it. So I think my parents are afraid that it’s the cat’s time to go and they really aren’t ready. He’s 13 and has had a good life. So I convinced her that we needed to take him and if it’s time, then so be it. So Friday we took him in and the doc did some blood work and told us he’d call Saturday with the results.

Saturday I looked forward to sleeping in. Well that didn’t happen. My mom called me at 8:50 on Saturday morning. I heard the phone ring but decided no way am I answering it. It rang again immediately and I though I better get it. It was my mom and she was in an agitated state. The vet called and said he needed her to bring the cat in right away. My father was getting ready to leave for a trip. So he postponed leaving to wait and see what was wrong. We rushed to the vet and found out it is definitely his liver. The vet does not want to do xrays or any other invasive tests because A) The cat is 13 years old and hasn’t been well recently. And B) We’ve already informed him if it’s cancer we will not put him through chemo. We put the family dog down 3 years ago because she had cancer of the liver. She was 16 and I gave her chemo injections for a few days. She was miserable, she became nippy and withdrawn, and it was a very hard thing to do. So we will not do that again. And then last year we put the other dog down. He was 15 and was blind and deaf, and could no longer walk very well or control his bladder. He would get lost in the yard and panic not being able to find his way back to the door. My parents calling him did not help since he was deaf. Sometimes he would fall over and not be able to get back up. So he had to be carried out to the yard and carried back in. That’s no way to live. When it’s time for them to go, it’s time and we just need to accept it. To keep them around at that age and try to keep them alive is selfish. That’s how we feel after what we went through with the dogs.

So the vet said the results are consistent with either cancer, or feline hepatitis. He gave him 2 injections since there is no way we can get pills in him. The medication he is getting is used to treat hepatitis. He will get two more on the 30th. Then we take more blood tests. If he’s improving that’s what it is. If not it’s most likely cancer and we will let him go. He will be joining the dogs, well his ashes will, on a shelf at my parents. I almost hope it is cancer. I know that sounds terrible, but he’s not been well and he’s old. It will be a relief for him to be joining the dogs on that shelf and be out of his misery.

Sunday I slept till 10 and then went to the mall with my mom. My father went on his trip and she wanted to get out of the house. She’s been on a diet this past year and has lost over 70 pounds. So we went to find her some “skinny” clothes. We ended up wasting gas and our time. She didn’t find anything she liked. So she’ll probably end up planning a trip to the outlet stores next month.

Then today my daughter and I went shopping. She’s growing so fast! We went through her things to give away what doesn’t fit anymore. That left her with nothing but shirts and blouses! So we went and got some new stuff. She got two skirts, two pair of shorts, two pair of capris, and three pair of pants. I got a pair of shorts and 8 new shirts.

We didn’t do any schoolwork today. That’s going to put us behind already this week and I have doctor’s appointments on Wednesday and Thursday. So catching up will be hard. ButI figured oh well. I’m tired of busting my hump to get everything done, and never having time to just screw around doing something fun. The house is a mess, I need to dust and vacuum and clean the bathrooms. Being behind just adds to my being depressed about everything. But I have not been able to do much due to being in pain. So since I’ve not been in too much pain I might as well enjoy myself for a bit.

Well it’s getting late and I’m getting tired. I still have yet to catch up on my sleep. Maybe tonight I will.

Have a good night!

Furkids.... the other white meat!

All the furkids here are acting up today! I've threatened them all that they are crunchy and would most likely taste good with ketchup. Apparently they are calling my bluff. The only one not misbehaving is the bunny!

I just realized I forgot to post a picture last week of Duma, the other kitten. So here's one of him, as well as the rabbit. Her name is Snowflake. Those stuffed animals are my daughter's. Duma sleeps inside of a huge pile of them. He makes like a little cave out of them and crawls inside of them to sleep. He also likes to sleep totally under the covers when he sleeps in bed with one of us humans.

Gosh I dislike Vista

I'm finally getting some alerts for the journals I keep up with. But I don't think that all of them are coming through. Anyone else having this problem? I think I might need to reset them or something.

I was adding the journals I read over on my sidebar so I can access them right from my journal. I have that Live thing with Vista on my computer so I just usually subscribe to them and get them in my reader. Well a few days before the alerts went down on AOL I did an update on the computer. If anyone has Vista, you know what a piece of crap version of Windows Vista is. It seems when it updates it makes something not compatible. The first update I did after getting the Vista made me lose my Internet Explorer. It's still there, but it's so buggy I'd rather use Firefox. I'm still waiting for Microsoft to notify me of a "fix" for it. Now my Desktop sidebar reader thingy crashed and I can't get it back. What a mess! I really dislike this Vista and would much rather go back to XP. Lucky for me I have a few alerts still saved in my mail so I'll have to dig around and find them, and then finally get them added in my journal.

Today was a nice, relaxing day. I haven't had much pain today from my various aches and pains that have been ailing me. I hope this continues! It's so nice to be able to move around with just a bit of discomfort here and there versus the constant nagging pains.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday! I'm going to sleep in tomorrow until at least 10. I hope. Then I'll get up and try to get caught up on some things that have been put off this week due to appointments. I want to be back on track by Monday because next week will be hectic once again with three doc appointments. I should be able to get a lot accomplished, just have to make sure I don't overdo it.

Well I'm going to end this here and try to find my journal links and get them added. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
 

Well I'm back

Wow! I had no idea what a chiropractor does. I was WAY off base! I am feeling different after just one visit. I can tell I am walking differently and I'm not sure if it is coincidental or not, but my heel is not all that painful at the moment. Yeah, I'm feeling good! He did say that my ankle on the plantar fasciitis foot does not "pop" like the other one. He was pulling and tugging on the left one and then the right and I did see a difference in the movement, or lack of, in that joint. So he believes that is where my problem is. That is possible. I have had three to four bad sprains and a break in that ankle in the past. So apparently that is what is causing my heel to strike wrong (his words) and that might just be the root of my whole problem. I'm very glad I went! I'll be seeing him once or twice a week for a while in addition to seeing the podiatrist.

I am so behind now though on stuff here at home. Oh well. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day for once and let the stuff wait till tomorrow. I'll catch up eventually lol. Before I left I was doing my daily routine and there are two certain furry residents here that, for some reason or another, seem to love making my day more hectic when I am pressed for time. Take a look at these photos if you will. This is Diamond and Raven, Queens of the Manor here.



They look comfy don't they? But take a closer look.... what's missing from the bed??



See what's missing? A sheet! And do you know why? Because I was trying to get the bed clothes in the laundry before leaving. So I ran the sheets and pillow cases down, started them, and came back for the comforter and dust ruffle. But the Queens decided to make themselves comfy. And getting these two old bitties to move is no easy job. So I did what anyone in hurry would do. I grabbed the comforter and yanked it out from under them as they hissed and growled. They're still ticked at me. Oh well lol. They always love to be the wrench in my machine whenI'm overwhelmed already.

As for the little guy, Missie, you will be happy to know he has a new name! I could not take "Void" anymore and told them it has to change. That's no name for him. So we have chosen "Voodoo". I think it's much better, it fits a black cat, and it's close enough to the previous one that there should be no confusion for him in case he may have gotten used to it already. I suggested looking up a wizard's name or something to do with magic. I found that one on a black cat names site and we all liked it. That's what we did for Raven. I looked up Wiccan names since black cats are associated with witches and halloween so she has a very long name. And she knows it when she is in trouble and I call her by the whole thing lol. Her full name is Raven Samhain Moonglow. Raven for black and shiny. Samhain for the pagan name for halloween. And Moonglow because her eyes are big as the moon! Seriously she has the biggest eyes I ever seen lol. And they're goldish orange.

Then we have another kitten, 3 months old and also an orphan we found in the rain crying about two months ago. I'll dig some pictures of him out and post them in another entry. But he looked like a little cheetah when we found him and has little spots like a cheetah, especially on his belly. So we researched "cheetah" on google and found a movie called "Duma" about a cheetah that we actually saw but had forgotten about. So that's his name.

Well I'm going to go and watch a couple movies since I'm feeling so good right now. Before I go though I have to share something that made me cry a little while ago. Right after I got home my husband came home and he had bought some Klondike bars. I haven't had one of those in soooo long. You know, I'm supposed to be doing this "losing weight" thing. Anyway he asked if I wanted one and I thought what the hell. Yes! So my daughter, the 10 year old brings one and says "mom what would you do for a Klondike bar?" and I thought a minute and said "I'll show you a lots and lots of loving" Do you know what she said to that? She said "Oh but you already do that everyday". That made me cry. Those are the times you feel great to be a mom and the crying feels good! So I let her play video games for a Klondike bar. Well that's what she thinks. I let her play them, on a school night mind you which I normally do NOT allow, because she made me feel so good to cry.

Have a great evening!!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_5

Our newest addition

Here he is... a brand new orphaned kitten. Well new to us. He's about 5-6 weeks old and so tiny he about fits in your palm. Doesn't he have gorgeous eyes?? OMG they are bluer than I've ever seen. The photo makes them more blue, they aren't that blue, but they are BLUE! The kiddos found him and brought him home. We were bottle feeding him but he was chewing the nipple after the first day with his tiny couple of teeth. Just barely nubs lol. So I softened some food with the KMR and he ate it. So now he's eating like a big boy. He is trying to use the litter box but I still see an occasional pee puddle on the kitchen floor when he's out. So that has to be worked on. I guess he's staying since they've named him. Void is what they named him. What the hell kind of name is that? Poor guy.

I am not happy about a new kid around here, especially one with fur. Someone's always going to take care of them but that someone always ends up being me. This now brings the total to 1 cat, 2 kittens, a dog, a bunny, the 3 kids, the hubby, and my mother in law. Is it any wonder why I'm falling apart??

Here are some more pics of him. He's had a few baths already with Dawn detergent since he's too little for other shampoo. I don't see any fleas on him, but he's bald in areas which lead me to believe it's from fleas. He did have some when he first came in. So I wonder if his hair will grow back?











I'll update tomorrow after my appointment with the chiropractor. Hope he can help me! My other hip started hurting as I was making dinner. It's always something with my broke down body lately.

Have a good evening!

aoljurlAdd, aoljurlAdd_7

I'm still here!

I'm still here! Just been a little hectic around here with doctor's appointments and other daily stuff. And what is up with alerts? I'm still not getting but one or two a day. Good thing I put some of the journals I read on my sidebar thingy. I'll have to go around and see what I'm missing on my own. If I haven't been to your journals that's why. So give me time and I'll get there eventually. Stupid AOL!

So I saw a new podiatrist yesterday. He seemed really frustrated for me and made a comment about the last doctor that I was surprised by. He said "geez it sounds like he just gave up on you". He then explained that the docs can find it frustrating when treatment isn't working just as well as the patient can. And he said the main thing is the doctor should be willing to try other things, not just refer a patient elsewhere when something doesn't work. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. This guy has me feeling hopeful. But I didn't feel like the other one was a bad doctor just because the steroid injections didn't work.

One thing about this guy I do like more than the last doc is he elaborates more. Much more. He explained the electro therapy to me as well as the surgery in depth, which it looks like will be the next step if this treatment fails. The insurance will not pay for the electro therapy, so that leaves only the surgery, but there is one more thing to try first. He suggested I get a better pair of orthotics from the ones I have. But insurance won’t pay for those either! I also found out that I am at a disadvantage as far as the treatment goes because one main thing that should be done is a strict regimen of anti-inflammatory meds ALONG with the steroids. Well, I have respiratory problems and CANNOT take anti-inflammatory meds like Naprosyn and Ibuprofen. So where does that leave me? Well, he started me on oral cortisone/steroids. I take 6 the first day, 5 the second, and so on until I am down to just one pill. Then I go back and see him, re-evaluate, and probably do another round of the oral steroids. Also I’ll be getting the orthotics even if I have to pay for them out of pocket. The better orthotics would help immensely he feels. I also have to invest in a pair of Crocs or Birkenstocks, although my Nike running shoes are very good he said. But I don't want to be limited to just tennis shoes to wear! And the orthotics he suggested will work well with any other shoes which is nice. Right now the ones I have only will work with the tennis shoes.

Today I was a little pissed at the fact that the insurance company does not want to pay for this and that. I can’t understand their thinking on things! So I had it out with them today. I can't believe they would rather pay for the surgery to go in and cut the fascia and release it, but will not pay for a relatively inexpensive thing (compared to the surgery) such as orthotics! And they might help and then prevent the need for the surgery! Duh!! AND the surgery is really not a good thing because it can cause more harm than good. Oh yeah, I have done my research on it baby! I read horror stories of those who have had it done, and wish they didn’t. One being a 30-year-old athlete, who was left with a life in a wheelchair after the surgery. No thanks, I’ll pass on that!! I refuse to believe my only option after this is the surgery and I will never consent to the surgery. No way Jose!

So now I have a case manager at the insurance company. Good in a way because she said she'll fight to get the orthotics covered and work with the doc on how to request them to be covered. But I don't like the fact that someone other than a doc is all in my business and medical problems. At one point she asked how well I’m able to care for my kids with all I have going on medically right now. An alarm went off right away! I don’t know if these case managers can tell someone to come take my kids away but I dare them to try it!

She advised me to see a chiropractor for my issues that I’m having with hip and back pain now since this all started. The new doc said my calf is tight because my fascia and Achilles are tight. As for thepain in the back of my thigh and butt cheek, he implied a pinched nerve. The back and hip pain, well I’m out of alignment due to altering the way I walk to accommodate the pain. So I see a chiropractor tomorrow. I’m terrified because I have always thought of them as a bunch of whacky gurus who want to stick a needle everywhere to fix something else. “Got an earache? Ok well let’s stick a needle in your eye!” Ugh, I’m not looking forward to this. But I’m going to give it a go and see what happens. But I told him on the phone I draw the line at drugs and needles. He claims he doesn’t use either but “manipulates” me back into alignment. I have no idea what that means but it doesn’t help ease my mind either!

Gosh I’m rambling here I think. I’m going to go make dinner and then write another entry on our newest family member. Just what I need! Another mouth to feed and another soul to care for! (psst.... Don’t tell the case manager I told you that lol.)

I’ll be back……