Good afternoon! I hope everyone is having a great day so far. My day is going pretty well. I think my fairy godmother must have came in while I was sleeping and sprinkled some fairy dust.
Yesterday I was not feeling so happy. I had a bad day, just terrible, and spent most of the evening crying and in pain again. Not just my foot but my back! I went to get my Crocs yesterday and I nearly fell standing in line! My lower back just felt really strange and my knees buckled. I had to grab onto the counter quick because I really thought I was going down. How embarassing that would have been!
I went to my podiatrist yesterday. It wasn't exactly good news. When he first came into the room he said in his line of work he's found that most people exaggerate their pain, and that he can tell by x-rays how much pain a person is really in. Then he said "then I saw your x-rays and I can't believe you aren't in more pain than what you say you are." He said it's hard to believe I am walking.
Of course immediately I wanted to cry! It sounded like he was setting me up to prepare me for a wheelchair. Or worse, surgery. When he showed me my x-rays I REALLY wanted to cry. I have HUGE bone spurs on BOTH heels! He said he's never seen heel spurs this large in someone my age before. Then he pushed and poked around on the left heel to see if I have any pain in that one at all. I do not. I do feel a twinge occasionally on that heel, but that's it. I just thought it's from putting pressure on that foot more than the bad foot. It really does not bother me at all. In fact it never has. But he says these things have been growing a long time for them to be that big.
So that means a change in my therapy. One thing is I will now have to take an anti-inflammatory, even though I have respiratory issues. He put me on Trisilate which I gather is better for someone with my respiratory history. He took me off the oral cortisone. And I am getting the injections once again. It's either that or the surgery to release the band of fascia. Of course I wasn't happy about that that damn shot, lol. But he was so sweet about it. He sprayed some cold stuff on it first to numb it, then gave me a shot of novacaine in my heel, then the steroid. Did it still hurt? HELL to the YES!! But I commend him for trying to make it less painful lol.
He also said I have bursitis in there along with the fasciitis. The spur is putting pressure on the bursa so that must be where most of the pain is coming from. So yeah, yesterday was a crappy day for me. I think it was the worst in the last 6 months, both mentally and physically. I did feel really bad though when I came out of the room and back into the front office. There was a young kid there who must have heard me screaming and boy he looked terrified! I told the receptionist I am sorry for making such a fuss back there. She said oh honey you weren't bad at all. You should hear the ones with the great set of lungs LOL.
But anyhow, on to the happy stuff! I woke up today and I feel wonderful! Even my back is feeling okay. I'm still feeling a twinge back there but my knees haven't buckled. My heel feels great! I know, once the steroid wears off it's probably going to hurt like hell again. But it feels good right now. I have my Crocs. I love these shoes!! Missie, you were right. I have already picked out two more pair that I want as soon as the hubby gets paid.
And the best news of all is that my care manager called me from the insurance company a little while ago. My orthotics are approved! They will pay for them! They won't pay for the ones the doc was going to make. I have to go to a medical supply house that does orthotics. But that's fine with me! I don't care who makes them for me, just make them! So now I have my orthotics coming, and I have my Crocs. I will most likely have to wear the orthotics for the rest of my life. And I can never wear house slippers. Doc says buy a pair of Burkies or Crocs for house slippers. Fine with me. These are more comfy. The only thing is for 20 years I have not believed in shoes in the house. The shoes come off at the door. So I'm finding it hard to keep the Crocs on in the house. But after a while I guess it will get programmed into my brain. Hubby threw out my house slippers so I have no choice now.
So I'm happy, happy, happy. Nothing could spoil my mood today. Woo HOO! I'm going to end this here and make my way around to journals.
Have a fabulous day and a fantastic weekend!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Finally some good news!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Warning - Political entry
This is my political entry. I am taking a chance posting
this lol. Before I continue let me just say…. Please don’t flame me for anything I’ve
said regarding either candidate! I am
already confused enough lol. I don’t want to wonder whether or not I owe someone an
apology for speaking the truth about the candidate that they support. It's not my intention to offend anyone. If you
have any information or links that might assist me in making a more informed
decision regarding either, I welcome that and I’d be very appreciative.
I’m not looking for answers. I'm not looking to find out who you are supporting. That's your business. I’m not
trying to bash either
one of the candidates either. I like certain things about both men. And
I dislike certain things about both men. Both of these men have issues
that people can’t
wrap their heads around. These are just the issues I can’t wrap my head
around.
I'm interested in what others think of these two so I welcome comments
on this entry. Don't feel you have to comment, but if you do comment, remember to
keep it nice and
helpful! Thanks!
When I choose a candidate, I usually look for someone who is qualified to lead. This time I am not. We don’t need a leader! We need a public servant. We need someone
who can carry out the will of the PEOPLE, not his own will. I think we’ve had
enough of that crap. I know what issues are important to me. That’s not the
problem. I know what I think of each of the candidates. That’s not the problem.
I don’t have a preference when it comes to Democrat or Republican, though I do
consider my views to lean more one way than the other for the most part. So that is not the problem. What is the problem is that I can't get past certain issues with these two men.
I think Obama is more personable than McCain, but I think
McCain looks more like a president. Both men hold my interest when they speak, but Obama holds my interest longer whereas McCain puts me to sleep eventually. I think Obama is too young, but then I think McCain is too
old. I think Obama is too "poor", but I really think McCain is too "rich". I can’t base my vote on what I think about them in these regards though! I need to choose the better of these two, neither of which I am extremely fond of, and vote to put them one in the white house. I am
not looking forward to it!
As far as Obama goes, I can’t get past the racial thing. I
honestly do not believe that he doesn’t share the same views as his preacher.
If anyone saw the video of Jeremiah Wright’s sermon, (who hasn't?) that whole congregation
was in agreement! I find it hard to believe that Obama doesn’t share the same
views as the rest of his friends and fellow worshippers. I do not for one
minute believe that out of the WHOLE congregation, Obama and his family are in
the minority when it comes to agreeing with what that man said. Obama claims he
was distancing himself from Wright, but on the contrary he’s been, and still
is, very close with this man.
As a voter I want to be 100% sure that the person
I vote to elect is going to be a public servant of ALL the people, not just a
certain group of people. I don’t think I can get past the racial thing.
As far as McCain goes, I have a hard time swallowing the
fact that he dropped bombs on civilians, for the sole purpose of wiping them
out, in Vietnam. Then when captured he gave up his fellow soldiers. That’s just
weak in my opinion, the giving up his friends and defending those actions
“because of torture”. I thought a soldier was supposed to never talk, tortured
or not. Hell they used to court marshall soldiers for that before. And before
that they shot them to death. Can you defend his actions by saying “Well the
Vietnamese were legitimate targets in the eyes of the US”? Sure you can. Absolutely. But
then don’t you have to agree that US citizens are legitimate targets in the
eyes of Al Quaeda?!! So should they drop bombs on us and wipe us out?
What he
did used to be referred to as war crimes. Did it not? When you are running for president
are war crimes forgotten and referred to as heroics? I don’t know if I can get
past the war crimes.
So the only thing I can do is go back over the debates, read
up on the bills they’ve sponsored, look again into where they stand on the
issues I am concerned about, and find out who their running mates are going to
be. Then I guess I have to decide if I can overlook what bugs me about each
one in order to choose the one I think would make the best servant of the people.
Can I overlook what I personally feel are war crimes and not
overlook the racism, or vise versa? Is that fair? If I can be tolerant of one, then
don’t I have to be tolerant of the other to give both a fair chance?
Is it fair to hold McCain's actions against him when others are guilty as well of the same thing? Is it fair to think of Obama as a racist just because his mentor, a man he is very close to, is a racist?
This is going to be one tough election. If I’m not impressed with
where they stand on issues, and if I can’t get past what bothers me about them,
then I guess I’ll have to accept the fact that I will not be voting to elect a
new president this time around.
I've always felt that whenever issues arise surrounding a president that those who didn't vote have no grounds for giving an opinion about it. I've always felt that if you don't vote and have your say when it's time to elect, then shut up later on. So I guess if I don't vote I'd better stock up on duck tape to keep my trap shut later.
AOL, OCD, and Diets
Doesn't this place look relaxing? I found the picture online and thought I'd fix it up for my journal entry. My first attempt at doing a frame and mat. It turned out so nice I want to jump into the picture and disappear.
What has been going on with AOL?? I tried 4 times to do an
entry last night. Finally I just gave up on it. I kept getting a message saying
AOL journals wasn’t available. Then I made it back to the blog front page… and
my journal wasn’t showing up, yet I was logged in. That scared me! I thought it
was gone. I figured since I couldn’t blog I’d reset my alerts. AOL wasn’t
having that either. So I went to bed.
Today has started off crappy. I woke up with a headache. My
chiro appointment got rescheduled. My heel and hip are killing me again. I’m
back to hobbling around and wincing in pain with every damn step. And there’s a
ton of laundry to do, the kitchen needs mopped, and the bathrooms are still a
mess. My windows need a good cleaning too, especially the storm door. And guess
what? I don’t give a shit.
One thing I have discovered in the last 7-8 months is that I
have found a cure for OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Yep, I truly have.
The way to cure OCD…. is to get plantar fasciitis. The only thing is I have yet
to figure out how to round up all the OCD folks and give them plantar
fasciitis. But I’m working on it! I used to suffer from OCD so bad I could tell
if a photo or a knick-knack was moved a fraction of an inch. I could never go
to bed with even a spoon in the sink. I had to wash it, then wash the sink
again, then disinfect the sink, wash my hands again, then wash the sink, disinfect
the sink, wash my hands, then the sink. LOL No I’m kidding on the last two
parts. Or three. But seriously you could eat off of my floors not too long ago.
Now I would not advise you to eat off of my plates!
Anywho… a couple of you asked about my mom’s weight loss.
Last year she started doing that Physician’s Weight Loss thing. She’s lost
about 75 pounds in a year. She still has about 50-60 to go. I’m proud of her!
She’s stuck with it, and even when she screws up she doesn't get discouraged.
Her blood pressure is much better. Her knees are much better. And she looks
much better, much healthier.
She’s always been heavy, as long as I can remember. And
she’s probably been on every diet at least once, some of them twice. She’s gone
to gyms. She’s exercised at home. Nothing ever worked. Well, South Beach was
working for her a few years ago, but she gave up. I think she lost her
willpower. Then she ended up putting on more weight. She developed arthritis in
her knees, her blood pressure was really high, and all she wanted to do was sit
in her chair and watch TV. Now she watches what she eats, drinks their protein
supplements, and has made changes in the food items she buys. And instead of
sitting in her chair she sits on her recumbent bike and puts in miles a day on
it.
So I’m proud of her. I wish I could lose some of this weight
I’m dragging around though. I was doing pretty good and then this fasciitis
happened. I was doing South Beach again because it’s how I lost the weight
before so I know it works. And I love my gazelle! But I got to the point that I
couldn’t take my walks anymore or use the gazelle because it was too painful.
So of course I gave up on the diet too. I started drinking soda again and
that’s got to stop.
I need to get cracking again at least on the diet part. I
don’t think I could walk to the park and do my laps around it again just yet.
But I think I can start using the gazelle again pretty soon. I bet if I got
some of this weight off me, it wouldn’t put so much pressure on my heels. I’m
not obese but I need to lose about 50-60 pounds. Or maybe that is obese? I
don’t know. I feel like a beached whale though. I don’t wear red shirts anymore
because I’m afraid I’ll look like a barn door. Or a fire engine. Just put a
siren in my ass and hook up a hose LOL.
Ok enough about my fat ass. Let’s talk about fatheads
instead. No, not husbands... politicians. I have absolutely no clue who the hell I’m going to vote for in this
election. Is that nuts or what? Ugh, I am just so clueless. Maybe I won’t vote
at all. Maybe I’ll just take a stance and vow not to have anything to do with
putting either one of the candidates in the white house. I need to do some
reading, and see if I can watch the debates again on YouTube or something. It
will be time to cast the ballots before we know it. And I am not prepared.
I could do a whole other entry on this. In fact, maybe I
will. Some may not want to read it, so I don’t want to “pollute” this entry
with political do-do. So with that I’m ending this entry.
Have a great day!
Monday, August 18, 2008
A real entry
What a long weekend. I haven’t posted and entry since Friday. Even that one wasn’t a real entry. There’s just so much going on here right now. I’ve been in a funky mood again lately. I should probably make an appointment to talk to my therapist again. But who the hell has time?! I started this journal thinking it would be good therapy, but then I don’t keep up with it. I need to start making an entry every day and use this journal as a way to vent when I need to.
So what’s been going on here? Let’s see… On Friday my mom asked me to go with her to take my parents cat to the vet. He’s had a bunch of little things going on here and there over the years, particularly the last 3 years or so. He’s been vomiting yellow foam recently and not eating or drinking. This has been going on for a little while, not too long, but long enough. He just recently got out of the hospital after an illness and almost didn’t make it. So I think my parents are afraid that it’s the cat’s time to go and they really aren’t ready. He’s 13 and has had a good life. So I convinced her that we needed to take him and if it’s time, then so be it. So Friday we took him in and the doc did some blood work and told us he’d call Saturday with the results.
Saturday I looked forward to sleeping in. Well that didn’t happen. My mom called me at 8:50 on Saturday morning. I heard the phone ring but decided no way am I answering it. It rang again immediately and I though I better get it. It was my mom and she was in an agitated state. The vet called and said he needed her to bring the cat in right away. My father was getting ready to leave for a trip. So he postponed leaving to wait and see what was wrong. We rushed to the vet and found out it is definitely his liver. The vet does not want to do xrays or any other invasive tests because A) The cat is 13 years old and hasn’t been well recently. And B) We’ve already informed him if it’s cancer we will not put him through chemo. We put the family dog down 3 years ago because she had cancer of the liver. She was 16 and I gave her chemo injections for a few days. She was miserable, she became nippy and withdrawn, and it was a very hard thing to do. So we will not do that again. And then last year we put the other dog down. He was 15 and was blind and deaf, and could no longer walk very well or control his bladder. He would get lost in the yard and panic not being able to find his way back to the door. My parents calling him did not help since he was deaf. Sometimes he would fall over and not be able to get back up. So he had to be carried out to the yard and carried back in. That’s no way to live. When it’s time for them to go, it’s time and we just need to accept it. To keep them around at that age and try to keep them alive is selfish. That’s how we feel after what we went through with the dogs.
So the vet said the results are consistent with either cancer, or feline hepatitis. He gave him 2 injections since there is no way we can get pills in him. The medication he is getting is used to treat hepatitis. He will get two more on the 30th. Then we take more blood tests. If he’s improving that’s what it is. If not it’s most likely cancer and we will let him go. He will be joining the dogs, well his ashes will, on a shelf at my parents. I almost hope it is cancer. I know that sounds terrible, but he’s not been well and he’s old. It will be a relief for him to be joining the dogs on that shelf and be out of his misery.
Sunday I slept till 10 and then went to the mall with my mom. My father went on his trip and she wanted to get out of the house. She’s been on a diet this past year and has lost over 70 pounds. So we went to find her some “skinny” clothes. We ended up wasting gas and our time. She didn’t find anything she liked. So she’ll probably end up planning a trip to the outlet stores next month.
Then today my daughter and I went shopping. She’s growing so fast! We went through her things to give away what doesn’t fit anymore. That left her with nothing but shirts and blouses! So we went and got some new stuff. She got two skirts, two pair of shorts, two pair of capris, and three pair of pants. I got a pair of shorts and 8 new shirts.
We didn’t do any schoolwork today. That’s going to put us behind already this week and I have doctor’s appointments on Wednesday and Thursday. So catching up will be hard. ButI figured oh well. I’m tired of busting my hump to get everything done, and never having time to just screw around doing something fun. The house is a mess, I need to dust and vacuum and clean the bathrooms. Being behind just adds to my being depressed about everything. But I have not been able to do much due to being in pain. So since I’ve not been in too much pain I might as well enjoy myself for a bit.
Well it’s getting late and I’m getting tired. I still have yet to catch up on my sleep. Maybe tonight I will.
Have a good night!
Furkids.... the other white meat!
I just realized I forgot to post a picture last week of Duma, the other kitten. So here's one of him, as well as the rabbit. Her name is Snowflake. Those stuffed animals are my daughter's. Duma sleeps inside of a huge pile of them. He makes like a little cave out of them and crawls inside of them to sleep. He also likes to sleep totally under the covers when he sleeps in bed with one of us humans.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Gosh I dislike Vista
I was adding the journals I read over on my sidebar so I can access them right from my journal. I have that Live thing with Vista on my computer so I just usually subscribe to them and get them in my reader. Well a few days before the alerts went down on AOL I did an update on the computer. If anyone has Vista, you know what a piece of crap version of Windows Vista is. It seems when it updates it makes something not compatible. The first update I did after getting the Vista made me lose my Internet Explorer. It's still there, but it's so buggy I'd rather use Firefox. I'm still waiting for Microsoft to notify me of a "fix" for it. Now my Desktop sidebar reader thingy crashed and I can't get it back. What a mess! I really dislike this Vista and would much rather go back to XP. Lucky for me I have a few alerts still saved in my mail so I'll have to dig around and find them, and then finally get them added in my journal.
Today was a nice, relaxing day. I haven't had much pain today from my various aches and pains that have been ailing me. I hope this continues! It's so nice to be able to move around with just a bit of discomfort here and there versus the constant nagging pains.
I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday! I'm going to sleep in tomorrow until at least 10. I hope. Then I'll get up and try to get caught up on some things that have been put off this week due to appointments. I want to be back on track by Monday because next week will be hectic once again with three doc appointments. I should be able to get a lot accomplished, just have to make sure I don't overdo it.
Well I'm going to end this here and try to find my journal links and get them added. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Well I'm back
I am so behind now though on stuff here at home. Oh well. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day for once and let the stuff wait till tomorrow. I'll catch up eventually lol. Before I left I was doing my daily routine and there are two certain furry residents here that, for some reason or another, seem to love making my day more hectic when I am pressed for time. Take a look at these photos if you will. This is Diamond and Raven, Queens of the Manor here.
They look comfy don't they? But take a closer look.... what's missing from the bed??
See what's missing? A sheet! And do you know why? Because I was trying to get the bed clothes in the laundry before leaving. So I ran the sheets and pillow cases down, started them, and came back for the comforter and dust ruffle. But the Queens decided to make themselves comfy. And getting these two old bitties to move is no easy job. So I did what anyone in hurry would do. I grabbed the comforter and yanked it out from under them as they hissed and growled. They're still ticked at me. Oh well lol. They always love to be the wrench in my machine whenI'm overwhelmed already.
As for the little guy, Missie, you will be happy to know he has a new name! I could not take "Void" anymore and told them it has to change. That's no name for him. So we have chosen "Voodoo". I think it's much better, it fits a black cat, and it's close enough to the previous one that there should be no confusion for him in case he may have gotten used to it already. I suggested looking up a wizard's name or something to do with magic. I found that one on a black cat names site and we all liked it. That's what we did for Raven. I looked up Wiccan names since black cats are associated with witches and halloween so she has a very long name. And she knows it when she is in trouble and I call her by the whole thing lol. Her full name is Raven Samhain Moonglow. Raven for black and shiny. Samhain for the pagan name for halloween. And Moonglow because her eyes are big as the moon! Seriously she has the biggest eyes I ever seen lol. And they're goldish orange.
Then we have another kitten, 3 months old and also an orphan we found in the rain crying about two months ago. I'll dig some pictures of him out and post them in another entry. But he looked like a little cheetah when we found him and has little spots like a cheetah, especially on his belly. So we researched "cheetah" on google and found a movie called "Duma" about a cheetah that we actually saw but had forgotten about. So that's his name.
Well I'm going to go and watch a couple movies since I'm feeling so good right now. Before I go though I have to share something that made me cry a little while ago. Right after I got home my husband came home and he had bought some Klondike bars. I haven't had one of those in soooo long. You know, I'm supposed to be doing this "losing weight" thing. Anyway he asked if I wanted one and I thought what the hell. Yes! So my daughter, the 10 year old brings one and says "mom what would you do for a Klondike bar?" and I thought a minute and said "I'll show you a lots and lots of loving" Do you know what she said to that? She said "Oh but you already do that everyday". That made me cry. Those are the times you feel great to be a mom and the crying feels good! So I let her play video games for a Klondike bar. Well that's what she thinks. I let her play them, on a school night mind you which I normally do NOT allow, because she made me feel so good to cry.
Have a great evening!!
